


A Tormented Soul Part II

by Rikerbabe



Series: Memories [2]
Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-15
Updated: 2016-05-15
Packaged: 2018-06-08 12:37:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6854866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rikerbabe/pseuds/Rikerbabe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>William's thoughts on his memories of Odan's love for Beverly. He tries to come to terms with what happened to both of them while he became Odan for the critical treaty negotiations.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Tormented Soul Part II

**Author's Note:**

> Forgive me on the summary.....knocked this one out in about an hour, and tried to "see" what happened in the episode "The Host" through Will's eyes.
> 
> Comments, complaints, corrections welcomed.......I don't bite (I promise!)

My thoughts are of her....I can't stop thinking about her....

After Odan was removed from me, the memories remained. I was told that they would go away with time, but they haven't. The smell of her hair, the touch of her hand......Dear God, this is driving me insane!

I spend my time on the bridge, trying to forget her but it's hard. Do the others know what she and I have been through? Do they even care that Beverly and I now must force ourselves to face each other every day, force ourselves to... _pretend_ that nothing happened? I have to force myself not to leave the bridge and go to her, try to get her to understand that I, too can't forget.

The nights are even harder for me....I try to sleep, but the memories of loving her keep resurfacing. The softness of her skin, the way she would whisper my name......her cry of pleasure.......The hours pass so slowly as I try to sleep and not dream of her. Does she also dream of me? I wonder, but am hesitant to ask her. After three hours of tossing and turning, I get up and try to read a few of those holonovels that Deanna recommended to me years ago. Three hours before my shift on the bridge, I finally fall into a light sleep, dreaming of her.

We face each other during the staff meetings, and she averts her eyes when I glance at her. The others are oblivious to our suffering or they, too are trying to pretend that all is right once again and I am not Ambassador Odan, but William T. Riker once more. She is careful not to be alone with me and the few occasions that I was sent to Sickbay, she had Alyssa take care of the issue. It seems that the trust we had so carefully built up over the years of being on the Enterprise together was gone. She had even refused to come to the weekly poker games, for fear of seeing me and remembering.

Deanna had told me that Beverly is also having issues with the memories as well, and is also hesitant about asking me what I do remember of those nights. She asked me if I would like for her to get Beverly to her office for a meeting with me to discuss a way to help both of us. I hesitate to answer, because I don't want Deanna to have to hear what we would say to each other. Oh, I know that Deanna can read our emotions and figure out what happened, but she would rather have us say what happened. That way, we could “get it out of our systems” and return to something more normal in our professional relationship.

Six hours into my shift, I sense that something isn't right with Beverly.......A feeling came over me that she wants and needs me. I rise, glancing over to Data at Ops who somehow has sensed my movement and I tell him to take the rest of my shift. He nodded and I transferred the command codes over to him.

Leaving the bridge, I direct the Turbo-lift to take me to Deck Nine.....and to Beverly.....


End file.
